By Melanie DeStefano

In her room at the House of the Good Shepherd retirement community in Hackettstown, Marie Harrigan sat combing through a tin full of buttons. She paused sometimes, holding a particular button up, feeling it in her hands for an extra moment and seeing it – really seeing it.  

“Do you remember them?” asked her daughter, Maura, tentatively. Maura thought she had seen a spark of recognition but didn’t want to get her hopes up. 

“Yes,” said Marie enthusiastically. 

“Really?” asked Maura, a knot forming in her throat. 

“Sure I am,” responded her mother. 

Maura could only express her joy through tears. 

Marie was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s more than a decade ago. She has all but forgotten her life after childhood.  

“It’s difficult triggering her memory,” said Maura, “but it seems she remembers older things, like her childhood best friend.” 

She remembers her mother as a loving caretaker whose phenomenal cooking inspired her daughter to attend culinary school. Seeing her mother now struggling to make sense of the world is emotional and difficult to process. 

“Mom barely speaks now and when she does, it is difficult understanding her,” she said. “I know she thinks she is making sense and telling a good story, but her words are merely chatter, no real words come out. I smile and listen, nod my head, and pretend I understand her.” 

It’s rare that she speaks clearly and cohesively of the past. Maura never knows what will trigger it. This day, it was buttons. But, then again, they weren’t just any buttons. 

A Loving Home 

Marie and her husband, Edward Harrigan, have been residents of The House of the Good Shepherd for six years. Maura, a resident of Boonton Township, visits her parents as much as she can, but is comforted in knowing that even when she’s not there, her parents are being treated with love. It’s a fitting place for them to live because they also filled their home with love. 

The Harrigans were popular in the neighborhood they grew up in Parsippany. Their house, with a pool and patio, provided the ideal hangout for neighbors, friends, and family. They were quick to say “I love you” to Maura, her brothers, Brian and Jack, and sister, Peggy, who passed away at age 17. 

The youngest of the four, Maura found ways to occupy herself in the bustling house. A favorite pastime of hers was to leaf through the Danish butter cookie tin full of buttons her mother kept in case they were needed for mending projects. She had her favorites and has vivid memories of three button sets in particular, which were on their original cardstock and still marked by price tags from the old W.T. Grant department store in Parsippany. 

Buttons Lost and Found 

The cookie tin was placed out in a garage sale – along with many other family treasures – when the Harrigans, children grown and living in their own homes, decided to downsize. Though everything was difficult to part with, the buttons often crept into Maura’s memory. 

“I often wished I had kept it,” she said. “At the time, I didn’t realize how much it meant to me.” 

Years went by. 

Last month, as Maura browsed Facebook Marketplace, something caught her eye. A tin full of buttons. She knew in her gut it was her mother’s.  

“I reached out to the seller, but he said it was sold and pending pick-up,” she said. “I was devastated and knew I couldn’t rest until I got that tin back!” 

She messaged the man again, desperate, explaining the situation. The post was taken down and as hours passed, she thought they were lost to her again. 

And then he responded: He had talked to the original buyer and the buttons were now Maura’s. 

Memories of Different Days 

Her heart sank a little.  

It wasn’t a Danish Butter cookie tin at all, but a Charles Nuts tin. She had been so sure when she saw the social media post that they were hers.  

But as she looked through the tin, memories returned with each button – an oversized marbled button, a petite pearly white. 

And then she found “three things in the tin that I knew without a doubt were mom’s”: three sets of buttons on cardstock, W.T. Grant price tags still attached. 

Though she thinks some buttons were lost, maybe even still sitting in a butter cookie tin somewhere in Morris County, she knew now, for sure, that these were the right buttons. 

“Do you remember them?” she asked her mother. 

“Yes!” 

The Harrigan family spent Marie’s birthday together at the House of the Good Shepherd and the feelings of gratitude were palpable. 

“This story goes beyond just the family’s excitement,” said Shannon Morgan, recreation director at The House. “Marie is a wonderful woman. To hear about this was really awesome for the entire staff.” 

It’s never a guarantee what will trigger memories or feelings in those with Alzheimer’s, according to House of the Good Shepherd CEO Sue Lanza.  

“What’s truly important here is that families play a consistent role in being with and supporting their loved ones,” she said. “It can be hard at times, but it can also be very valuable when you least expect it.” 

Such as when a button collection finds their long way home, and with them, memories.