By Cathy Miller

Joe Veghte is an outgoing, active, thoughtful, caring, funny and very interesting member of the human race!

A resident of Washington, New Jersey, for over 15 years, Joe was born in Upton, Massachusetts. The trek from MA to NJ covered thousands of miles and several decades.

Joe lived in Upton until he was 18 years old. “Then I joined the Navy. It was either that or get drafted,” Joe noted. “I did it for four years. I had a great job in administration, as a yeoman. We had seven ships, so we moved from ship to ship periodically.”

Joe got out of the Navy in 1956 and moved to New York City, which he loved. He recalled, “It was a great place to be then. The war was over, we’d gotten out of the Depression, people had money, they were all dressing up. It was a phenomenal experience, the City was so beautiful (and still is).” He described it as a euphoria. Having been denied things for so long due to rationing, suddenly here was everything you could want. He added, “It was a lot of fun. You earned $60 a week, and you paid $50 a month for an apartment!” He thought about that exciting time in the City, “There was a lot going on in the art world and music world.”

In the work world, Joe was employed by American Airlines as a clerk. Describing some of the perks of the job, he said, “I got tremendous deals on travel. We used to do things like go to London for the weekend. Then we discovered it was cheaper to fly to San Francisco, all we had to pay was the tax and seven dollars for the food. It was cheaper to fly first class to Los Angeles than to go out and spend money in New York! Business was booming. Everybody was rebuilding from the war. It was a phenomenal time in this country.” Ten years later he went on to become a supervisor in the key punch sector [a means of data entry before the advent of computers]. In 2000, he retired from the American Society of Mechanical Engineering [ASME].

Does Joe expect America to experience that old euphoria again? “It’s interesting,” he mused. “I’ve wondered about that a long time. When I was working at the ASME, I discovered that whole world was in awe of our technology. Information at your fingertips. Computers capable of so much. I have complete faith in the younger generation,” while the technology continues to rapidly expand into unexpected arenas.

He said some of the latest innovations in the field of technology are “almost inconceivable.” Joe pondered the life of the scientist/engineer designing the next big technological advancement saying, “Maybe that person was born just to do that.”

After living in New York City for a while, Joe took a year off and moved to the Hamptons. “Then I went back to New York for a number of years. Then I went out to Indiana. Then back to New York again. Then from New York, I ended up in Washington, NJ, which I love very much.” In between, there was a bit of international travel – Italy and Turkey, where he thoroughly enjoyed his visit, describing it as going back to biblical times.

Of his introduction to Eastern philosophies, meditation and self-cultivation, Joe explained, “I’d been exposed to things in New York because they have everything there. My introduction to Qigong was in 1970, with a fellow from China. He was giving classes at the United Nations Parapsychology Club. I took several workshops with him. Unfortunately what happens in New York is you do the classes but you never practice because you’re too busy running around doing everything else.”

How in the world did he settle on Washington, Warren County?

“I had a meditation teacher that moved here. I came out and liked what I saw. I was looking for a place to retire and decided to move here.” He laughed. After the move to Washington, “Everyone in New York gave me two weeks [before moving back]. I only went back once in that first year. I’ve had no desire to go back. I find the people in Washington exceedingly friendly and helpful. I just like living here.”

“After I retired, I really wanted to study Qigong. I came to Gibson’s Gym [in Washington] and saw they offered Tai Chi. After one or two classes of Tai Chi, I realized the instructor knew something about Qigong too. Now I have tremendous respect for his knowledge as both a Qigong teacher and a Tai Chi teacher.”

Joe continues to practice with Stan Cohen/ChiForLiving.

“When I found Stan, I knew I wanted to study with him. I attend Stan’s other classes. I go to two on Monday, sometimes three on Thursday, and one on Friday. I will also join his workshops at Honor Yoga Washington. The first session he did there was two hours long. Just when I began to think I wasn’t going to make it through, Stan asked, ‘wasn’t that fun?’ Sometimes when I leave the class I ache all over. I believe in the ‘onion principle’ when you ‘peel off a layer,’ and I feel somehow that whatever we’ve done in class has loosened up toxins. I go home, sit down and have a cup of tea. Then I’m energized.’

“I had a teacher who looked me right in the eye one day and asked ‘Are you willing to give up who you think you are?’ I had to laugh when he said that. I’ve spent a fortune in therapy to find out who I am and I still don’t have a clue and you’re asking me to give it up? What I realized was all the expectations – nice people do this, you shouldn’t do that, you gotta get in this college, gotta get the grades, gotta earn an income, gotta join a country club – maybe those are things you might not even want. I often felt that when I was a child you get up in the morning and everything’s great, and you just had fun. Then something happened, I’m sure it’s paradise lost. I’ve always felt like I was between Point A and Point B in my life. Kind of stuck.”

“Then I met a meditation teacher. I realized as I meditated I never felt anything. I remember telling the teacher I didn’t think anything was happening while I was sitting there on the cushion. He gave me the best piece of advice I’ve ever had: when you sit to meditate whatever happens is what’s supposed to happen and you ride with it. I took that and all of a sudden I discovered I’d sit for a while and maybe the last couple minutes I felt something different that was peaceful and quiet. That was the carrot in front of my nose. I firmly believe now, as I get more and more into my meditation, I’m able to look inside myself and let out more of who I really am. All those things I thought I should be and I thought I shouldn’t be, and all those things I thought I should do but didn’t really want to do, and all those things I should be doing and never could really pull off – I think it’s basically making peace with myself.”

“It’s coming up on 50 years that I’ve been working on this. I spent a lot of time in therapy in the 50s and 60s because back then we thought that was the answer. I learned a while ago that a therapist is not equipped to answer your spiritual questions.”

When you look for a medical professional, you have certain criteria. When you’re looking for someone to guide you in meditation, how do you find the right person? “It’s very simple,” Joe stated. “When I was 50, my teacher told me just make sure they’re walking what they’re talking. And as long as the internal changes are taking place, you’re in the right place,” he said. “I like to complicate things, but she gave us this great mantra, ‘KYBMS’ [i.e. Keep Your Big Mouth Shut] and she told us if we chanted it 108 times it would help us in every situation. She could take all the scriptures and other things you ponder, like how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and she’d boil it down to everyday common sense. She was my kind of teacher.”

What happens when the pressure starts building? “You let it go.” Joe clarified, “But it’s not like ‘I know I’m going to get rid of this anger’ and all of a sudden it’s gone. It’s like when somebody does something and you think ‘I’m going to get even.’ Instead, ask yourself ‘How much time do I want to put into this?’ It’s not like the Big Bang thing, it’s on the installment plan. Let the little things go and one day you realize you’re not holding on to them anymore.”

“I’ve often felt a lot of my thinking is like a comedian who tries a joke and it doesn’t work, so he gets rid of it. If I try something two or three times and it’s not working, there’s something I’ve got to look at. It’s also a life of self-inquiry and that can get very lonely sometimes. It has mountains and valleys. I also think about prayer and asking for things of this nature. If you’re really sincere about it, it will show up on the horizon. It’s generally after I’ve just gone through another one of my, dare I say, comedy routines.” Rather than feeling frustrated, Joe understands that finding something you can work with and staying with it is a process.

Through decades of practicing zen, yoga, and meditation, Joe has learned whatever happens is supposed to happen. He admitted, “I told my mentor I’ve made awful mistakes in my life. He replied, ‘There are no mistakes.’ That helped me let go of a lot of stuff. I realized that everything had to happen so I could learn how to grow up.”

Is he all grown up now? “No. Most of my life I’ve wondered when I’m going to grow up, wondering what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.” He still contemplates that.

Perhaps the goal is not necessarily “growing up,” but going from where you are to your next stop. “Yeah, to another level. It’s your trip, it’s going to be different for every one of us. That’s the miracle of God to me. I’ve seen all different kinds of people and they’re all looking for their own good in their own way.”

Talk a bit more about your philosophy:

Joe was off and running with maxims galore! “I got a fortune cookie one time, it had a great message. It was like a bumper sticker quote. I kept it. If you find something that you think is going to work for you, I don’t care who said it or wrote it, if it makes you feel better, stay with it. I read something this morning – if you put a man in a room and it only has one ray of light, if he stays there forever, he’s going to think that’s all the light there is. If you have a resentment, let go of it. That person may have had a bad day. Never miss an opportunity to do something for somebody else. Even if I don’t particularly care for them, it’s more important that I do something. I learned how to cook by helping a woman who’d been in an accident and suffered some brain damage. She’s very bright, so it was like spending time with a brilliant child. She asked me to help her cook a meal for us. What I learned from our experience cooking together, is you don’t really know how it’s supposed to taste because you’ve never cooked it before. So you just taste and keep adjusting til it tastes like you want it to. I’ve got a great friendship with her. I grew up in an era where men and women had different roles. I worked on one of the first women’s liberation conferences in 1970. They didn’t think anybody would come and we ended up with 300 people. The guys said we’d do all the cooking and all the cleaning, we stayed out of the conference. The final night they called us in and we met a lot of the women. Some were questioning what they were doing there. One woman said she was thinking about running for public office. I told her to go for it. I’ve been a feminist ever since!”

Any closing thoughts, Joe?

“No matter what happens keep your sense of humor. No matter what happens you’ve got to find something funny in it. And if you can’t, keep going until you do. I had a friend who told me she was broke, saying ‘I’ve got the one thing money can’t buy – poverty!’ I landed in New York from Indiana with 39¢ in my pocket. Within six months I had a good apartment and a job and I was seeing a therapist. Recently I attended a big get-together. A little boy told me he’s never seen anyone as old as me. I was 80. Later, I was sitting on the stairs, and he and his friends ran up and laughed. I’m leaning over, putting on my shoes, and my eyeglasses are hanging around my neck. The little boy came closer and asked, ‘Are those your glasses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Put them on.’ So I did. The kid said, ‘Wow, you look cool!’ and ran off. I laughed so hard. I do believe in always finding something to laugh about.”

Even if it finds you first!

Cathy Miller is an award-winning photo-journalist. Her work appears regularly in insidewarren.com as well as many other publications in the region and state. If you would like to nominate someone for the Person of the Week, please reach out to Cathy at info@insidewarren.com. Additionally Cathy is available for private photo events and portraits.